Women are simply more comfortable around people who remind them of themselves.
There’s more to it than you think
Many online dating sites like Match. On a dating app like Tinder or Bumble, you can take a quick glance at her photos and bio to see if any common interests jump out. For instance if you find you both love dogs, you could send a message like this:. Certain words are attention grabbing because they sound delicious. Notice how it starts off with a light compliment. Complimenting her will often give you points, but only if you focus on intangible qualities like intelligence or her accomplishments.
Paying her a more meaningful compliment is a breath of fresh air for her. Mentioning something yummy-sounding works just as well on dating apps. In fact, it literally stimulates your brain and makes you feel good. And the better she feels about talking to you, the more likely she is to share her number.
The example above is more suited for a dating site where longer messages are the norm, but you can get her talking about herself on a dating app with a short message like this:. Those three elements are crucial if you want to get a response to your online dating opener. Weekday evenings are generally best — many women unwind from a long day at work by firing up a dating app while catching up on Netflix.
According to Nielsen , activity on both OkCupid and Tinder peaks at 9 pm, and usage starts to rapidly decline after 10 pm. On Bumble, the real action starts a little earlier, with activity peaking at 6 pm.
And if you happen to find yourself stuck inside due to inclement weather like a blizzard, hurricane or rainstorm, put these first message examples to good use. NBC News did a little investigating, and found that bad weather goes hand in hand with increased activity on dating sites and apps.
In many cases, the increase was pretty dramatic. Send her a light-hearted follow up message like this one:. This is where you want to continue connecting with her as well as telling her why you are messaging her. Try to include the senses involved in the shared interests. You want her to hear, smell, feel, taste, and see what you are talking about.
First Message Online Dating Formula That Works (With Examples) - Beyond Ages
Be careful to only include positive shared interests. You are not going to get a response if you start off a message by saying for example:.
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Now you you want to tell an interesting story tied to one of the interests you just mentioned. If one of your shared passions is scuba diving you could say:. Fourteen days of diving in crystal clear waters having adventures in the local countryside. This serves dual purposes.
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In the first sentence you are showing that you are an interesting guy that is fun to be around. In the second you are painting the picture of a life that she would like to be a part of. Now that you have demonstrated why you are messaging her you can briefly mention a few of your strongest characteristics to really get her hooked. This may sound a little like bragging and it is but it is done in a confident way that is more matter-of-fact than arrogant.
If you can demonstrate confidence early when messaging an older women you will have better results. This is where you give a little and take a little. In this example it was from a woman who said she was great at ping pong:. It is very easy to take a message the wrong way, even one that follows a first message online dating formula. You need to find the right balance and it can take a little practice before you find it.
This is where you seal it. You want her to get motivated to actually send you a message back. My favorite line was:. This is a great way to connect with her and demonstrate that messaging you is in her best interest. She is on that site to meet someone great and that just might be you.
Now that you have given her every reason to reply you tell her exactly what you want her to do. If you can get her to take the big step of messaging you back your odds have already increased tremendously. I knew that would get your attention!